1. Relationships of pleasure
Partners who are about sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll. You share soulless, passionate sex and playful banter — but they’re about the body or ego. They never soul-nurture you with insight and growth, so they never bring real-deal happiness. Basically, instead of finding a soul mate, you’re simply finding a sex-mate and/or an ego-mate.
2. Relationships of utility
Partners you spend time with in hopes of garnering status, power, money and beauty like the rich guy with a trophy girl. Again, this is about body or ego and doesn’t bring true joy. Again, instead of finding a soul mate, you’re finding a sex-mate, ego-mate, status-mate, and/or wallet-mate – none of which are long term satisfying mates!
3. Relationships of shared virtue
Partners who challenge and inspire you to grow into your highest potential and nurture your soul. A good example is when Jack Nicholson’s character in “As Good As It Gets” says, “You make me want to be a better man.” When you prioritize seeking a partner who supports you becoming your best self — instead of crushing on “superficial lures”(hotness, funniness, smartness, success, etc.) — you wind up with a soul mate/a Prince Charming/a definite keeper!
~ Karen Salmansohn
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