On Thursday, July 14, 2011, during a physical therapy appointment, I lost my focus. As I was face-down on a table with electrodes attached to my neck and back, and a massive heating pad that went from the base of my head to my tailbone, I began to cry. And, I had these thoughts..."Why do I keep going? Why do I keep getting up every day and doing what I do? Why? What's the point?" The more I questioned myself, the more I cried.
When my physical therapist came in, he asked me how I was doing. My physical therapist is the husband of one of my "best-est" girlfriends. I told him I was overwhelmed. He asked me about what. I told him what I was thinking and how discouraged I had become, since my physical condition began in May, and just things I had been through in general.
Without hesitation, he told me why I am here. He told me about all the people I have helped and prayed for. He told me how powerful the gift and call on my life is, and how countless lives have been changed for the better...including his and his family. He told me that's why I keep going...so God can use me to help people. He told me that I want God to use me to help people so much that, sometimes, I forget to take care of myself. He also reminded me that I have an enemy that doesn't want me doing what I do for God and people.
He went on to remind me how Elijah (1 Kings 19) and David got weary and discouraged. And, he reminded me of how God took care of them...how He fed them, gave them rest, and encouraged them. I said, "Yep...and after that, they were back out there on the battlefield again." He said, "That's right." He told me that's what I needed...a time of refreshing...a time of being cared for...a time of rest. After he spoke those things, my focus returned. I was back on track again. I was encouraged.
Then, early that evening, one of my Facebook buddies posted a video and an excerpt from that video. He "tagged" me in it, and it appeared on my Facebook wall. It was amazing. It confirmed what my physical therapist/girlfriend's husband said to me. I wrote it all down, brought it to my physical therapy appointment yesterday, and read it to him. We were happy about how God confirms, in our heart, what is going on and how we are to respond.
So, rather than keep carrying those words in my purse, I am writing them on Facebook. Here are those words...
"You had to go through it not over where you are, but over where you are going. You had to go through it because the enemy knows you have been assigned to greatness; that God has predestined you to be an over-comer; that you were born to be a winner; that you were meant to be victorious. And, the only reason he's trying to pick you off now is that, once that thing grows up inside of you, he'll never be able to handle you another day of your life."
Then, this morning, I received a message from a head nurse at the clinic where I volunteer. She was letting me know that another doctor (who specializes in diabetes) wants me to come in on her clinics and minister to her patients! Wow! I am excited and happy. Now, I've been invited to assist doctors in the fields of family practice, ophthalmology, oncology, pulmonary and transplant medicine, and diabetes.
I am looking forward to all that God is going to do, as I continue to walk in the purpose for which He has created me. And, if I ever question myself again, all I have to do is read this Facebook note! :)
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