On July 14, 2011, I was listening to a song, by Rich Mullins, on the K-Love radio station. He passed away at the age of 42, in a tragic accident, while on his way to a benefit concert in Kansas. Some years ago, I heard him do an interview. I never forgot what he said because his words met me where I was at. His words touched the inner part of me, and I cried and cried. When I heard his song today, I thought of his words. They still make me cry. Here is what he said:
"I would always be frustrated with all those relationships even when I was engaged. I had a ten year thing with this girl and I would often wonder why, even in those most intimate moments of our relationship, I would still feel really lonely. And it was just a few years ago that I finally realized that friendship is not a remedy for loneliness. Loneliness is a part of our experience and if we are looking for relief from loneliness in friendship, we are only going to frustrate the friendship. Friendship, camaraderie, intimacy, all those things, and loneliness live together in the same experience… I have no interest in anybody else and she is married to someone else so that’s the way it goes and I don’t mind that. Right now I cannot imagine that life could be happier married than it is single so I’m not in a panic about getting married. And I think, you know, maybe God wanted me to be celibate and the way that he accomplished that was to break my heart. So that’s the way it goes."
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